Post by minesayrejoice on May 25, 2010 22:10:15 GMT -5
I will now post what I wrote down after my date last night. The date that lasted from 1pm to 11:30pm.
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Oh. Dear. God. That was the longest date of my life. And possibly the last time I date someone I met online. In the future I will try to stick to dating men I’ve already met in person. And I am definitely sticking to men my age. I do want to get married and have kids….someday. But I do know I won’t be ready for that for some time. And I do not find the topic an attractive one for a first date. I am not going to think of marying someone based on the first date. So, please, stay away from that topic until you’re ready to consider it with that person. Unless you have kids, which would be important to know.
By the way, what is up with the affectionate gestures on the first date? Prolonged hugs, stroking my hand or back, kissing, wrapping your arms around my waist, they all demonstrate affection, which I could not possibly feel for someone I just met.
Ooh! If you really want to impress me, actually learn to speack English properly. You only get to slide a little if you recently started learning it as a second language. And if you use some words about evey 5 words (today’s date uses “basically” and “actually” around 10 times a minute), stop. You might want to eliminate those words from your vocabulary, as they have lost all meaning due to overuse.
And finally, please keep the fact that you have found the cure for everything wrong with the world while tinkering in your garage, and you just know you’ll recieve multiple awards for fixing the world, to yourself. For a very long time. Possibly forever, as it makes you sound like a conceited freak.
Actually, I have one more thing to add. First dates should not last more than 3 hours. An 11-hour date ensures that you’ll have nothing more to talk about at your next date (if your date isn’t already sick of hearing you talk and agrees to another). In the future I am going back to scheduling dates when I’ll have a deadline; making sure the date cannot last more than a few hours because I have somewhere to be later that day.
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Seriously. That is what my date was like yesterday. And he ignored my first request to go home. He’d also asked me the night before what my reaction would be if he tried to kiss me, and yet tried to do so 3 times. I started out having fun, but ended by thinking “Dear God, let me get out of this car” the entire way home. And if he thinks I willingly held his hand in the car, he is quite mistaken. He held mine, despite the fact that the weight of his arm was straining my elbow and my fingers were going numb.
I am going to add something to what I wrote yesterday: I will know where I am going on the date, and think carefully before agreeing to one far from home. And try to take my own car (or rather borrow Mom’s for the purpose). That way I can go home when I want, and I won’t be stranded far from home by a disgruntled date.
I will tell people when I am going on a date, where, and with whom. If I don’t return in a reasonable amount of time, they will know to call me, and if they cannot reach me, the police.
I will not leave it up to my date to decide on the place. We will decide together, and it will be a public place at all times. Movies/theatre/music, food and drink, the park, the beach, all of these are perfectly fine for getting to know someone and getting comfortable being around them, as well as being completely public. Later dates can be more private, once it has been established that they are trustworthy and……..someone one wants to be around.
I have agreed to a date since yesterday……with someone I met online. But he is only a couple years older than me (not the almost 10 years of yesterday’s date), even though he has a kid, and specifically asked me out “for a drink”. If we decide on something else, I will make sure it is thoroughly public, and not last more than a few hours. And I will make every effort to have my own car (or stay in this area so that someone can pick me up), so that I may leave when I wish.
———————————————————————————————-
Oh. Dear. God. That was the longest date of my life. And possibly the last time I date someone I met online. In the future I will try to stick to dating men I’ve already met in person. And I am definitely sticking to men my age. I do want to get married and have kids….someday. But I do know I won’t be ready for that for some time. And I do not find the topic an attractive one for a first date. I am not going to think of marying someone based on the first date. So, please, stay away from that topic until you’re ready to consider it with that person. Unless you have kids, which would be important to know.
By the way, what is up with the affectionate gestures on the first date? Prolonged hugs, stroking my hand or back, kissing, wrapping your arms around my waist, they all demonstrate affection, which I could not possibly feel for someone I just met.
Ooh! If you really want to impress me, actually learn to speack English properly. You only get to slide a little if you recently started learning it as a second language. And if you use some words about evey 5 words (today’s date uses “basically” and “actually” around 10 times a minute), stop. You might want to eliminate those words from your vocabulary, as they have lost all meaning due to overuse.
And finally, please keep the fact that you have found the cure for everything wrong with the world while tinkering in your garage, and you just know you’ll recieve multiple awards for fixing the world, to yourself. For a very long time. Possibly forever, as it makes you sound like a conceited freak.
Actually, I have one more thing to add. First dates should not last more than 3 hours. An 11-hour date ensures that you’ll have nothing more to talk about at your next date (if your date isn’t already sick of hearing you talk and agrees to another). In the future I am going back to scheduling dates when I’ll have a deadline; making sure the date cannot last more than a few hours because I have somewhere to be later that day.
——————————————————————————————-
Seriously. That is what my date was like yesterday. And he ignored my first request to go home. He’d also asked me the night before what my reaction would be if he tried to kiss me, and yet tried to do so 3 times. I started out having fun, but ended by thinking “Dear God, let me get out of this car” the entire way home. And if he thinks I willingly held his hand in the car, he is quite mistaken. He held mine, despite the fact that the weight of his arm was straining my elbow and my fingers were going numb.
I am going to add something to what I wrote yesterday: I will know where I am going on the date, and think carefully before agreeing to one far from home. And try to take my own car (or rather borrow Mom’s for the purpose). That way I can go home when I want, and I won’t be stranded far from home by a disgruntled date.
I will tell people when I am going on a date, where, and with whom. If I don’t return in a reasonable amount of time, they will know to call me, and if they cannot reach me, the police.
I will not leave it up to my date to decide on the place. We will decide together, and it will be a public place at all times. Movies/theatre/music, food and drink, the park, the beach, all of these are perfectly fine for getting to know someone and getting comfortable being around them, as well as being completely public. Later dates can be more private, once it has been established that they are trustworthy and……..someone one wants to be around.
I have agreed to a date since yesterday……with someone I met online. But he is only a couple years older than me (not the almost 10 years of yesterday’s date), even though he has a kid, and specifically asked me out “for a drink”. If we decide on something else, I will make sure it is thoroughly public, and not last more than a few hours. And I will make every effort to have my own car (or stay in this area so that someone can pick me up), so that I may leave when I wish.
